I look at you and I can see it in your face – you think you hide it – but I see you.
I see the hurt, the dark circles under your eyes, and the quiet plea that escapes your lip.
To afraid to be voiced, to afraid to be heard. Because you are too afraid to be hurt.
I want to take you and wrap you in the safety of our home, hold you close to my heart and console you – tell you things that you will believe. Tell you things will be alright. But you don’t seem to believe anything anymore, because you have been deceived by others – far to many times before.
So I will just look at you and see the pain in your fake smile – and I will smile back and I’ll hear the attempted deception when you tell me you are just tired and I will say… me too. And let you sleep.
I know you are broken inside – I can see it in your face. The violets are blue…
“I wish I could kill the part of myself that hates me so much – but I think that’s impossible because it feels like that’s all I have become.
If I wanted to kill my inner demons, I had to kill every single part of me – because that’s what I’ve become.
I am full of hatred towards myself and it’s killing me slowly”
“Someone I loved once gave me a box a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift…”
“The demon though quiet, are never quite silenced. Calm as they may be, they wait patiently for a reason to wake, take an overdue breath and crawl back in my ear…”
You can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else Nomad. I have been there, I have done that. I also shook the bottle of Meth while I wore the T-Shirt. I released a madness on my people. I know you – you are me.
Our God is older than the bible – we believe in spiritual debris. We pick it up, and we leave it behind. Cleanse yourself …
Sadness is all there is left. As the light grows ever dim – my chance of survival becomes more and more slim. The monsters come closer. They are all around. Everything is quiet. There is no sound…
It is odd or peculiar even strange… As you live day-to-day and nothing changes, but when you look back… EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. Be careful who you pretend to be – you might forget who you are.
There are far better things ahead, then anything we leave behind. No earthly being could save me from the terror my addiction brings – I just think it is time for you – to leave all this – behind.
As I leave this place I leave nothing behind. No one will miss me no one will mind. I take with me, all that I have. Just the monsters that follow and the sadness that drags…
“Sadness is all there is left. As the light grows ever dim, my chance of survival becomes more and more slim.
The monsters come closer. There all around. Everything is quiet. There is no sound.
As I leave this place I leave nothing behind. No one will miss me no one will mind. I take with me, all that I have. Just the monsters that follow and the sadness that drags…”