Allow me to introduce myself, sly, unsolved and controlling. AND, I am exactly what they say I am, “cunning, baffling and powerful”, that’s me. I am the disease of, addiction. AND to all that come into contact with me, I wish you dead.
I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend or, lover. Don’t you remember, I whispered to you, “I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me…?”
That’s right – and, I was there.
With my sadistic nature, I let you see my face. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. AND, when you can’t feel anything at all; this is true magnificence. ALL of this you were “okay” with.
When things were not going right in your life, you invited me right in. I gave you instant gratifications, and all that I ask of you is – long-term misery. You said you did not deserve these wholesome things, and I was the only one who would agree with you! But, together, we were able to destroy it all. And I was the only one strong enough to stand with you through it!
Yes, I am your hated disease, and yet, I do not come uninvited. You chose to have me. As my work will speak for itself, so many have chosen me over – peace serenity and, reality. And yet, people don’t take me seriously. They take strokes, heart attaches, even diabetes they take, seriously. Fools they are, they do not know that without my help, many of these things would not even be made, possible. On this subject I feel a little unappreciated!
Oh, and I got a secret for you. Although, more than you hate me – I hate all of you. When you gather around your, twelve-steps, that I would rather drag you down. And your meetings, with your Higher Power, that’s the best you got to weaken me…? To cage me within, trinity – so I can’t function in a manner I am habituate to?
You living? Me, only existing? So, that’s how it is. I must lie here, quietly. You won’t see me, but I will be growing, grander than ever – I am here. And, until we meet again IF we meet again, I wish you only one thing. I wish you dead.